It’s Official: Fergie makes the worst music ever

by Ed Lau on December 5, 2006

Do you all remember where you were when you first heard Fergie’s ’song’, London Bridge?  I remember I was in my car and it was playing off my iPod.  A friend, with ridiculously poor musical taste, had recommended it to me and I gave it the benefit of the doubt.  She basically ruined the Black Eyed Peas but hey, everyone gets a shot.  I had loaded it on my iPod without having heard it first. 

It started on my speakers and I though, okay, the beat is decent…and then she opens her big mouth and the world came crashing down.  It was possibly the worst music I had ever heard in my entire life.  Seriously, I could barely call it music.  The lyrics were simple and not in a good way…in a Kindergarten without the cute way.  Her voice is annoying and it felt almost like Jessica Simpson was trying to get some street cred.  Prior to this, I thought bad rap was just like…Shaq and Kobe trying to put down a verse but this redefines bad.  I truly thought that there couldn’t possibly be a worse song than this.

I was proven wrong when I heard Fergalicious last night on TV and not only was it the worst song I’ve ever heard, but the worst performance of the worst song ever.  She just stood there spewing all this crap she calls lyrics while nameless people danced in the background.  Seriously, why is this woman a star?  This stuff is just garbage.

If you want something in a similar style but, y’know, good, give a listen to M.I.A., who I’m almost sure is the inspiration for Fergie’s ‘music’.  The Sri Lankan rapper has hotter beats, sounds infinitely better (although good luck understanding a word she’s saying although I believe most it is about violence or sex.) and is at least twice as hot.  The first time you hear Galang at the club is truly special.  It’s weird as hell and sounds like freakin’ FIRE. London Calling, speak the slang now. The video is also the lowest budget vid I’ve ever seen but it’s freakin’ awesome.

in Entertainment

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Carl December 5, 2006 at 9:04 pm

Hottest butterface in the world though :D


Kiltak December 6, 2006 at 6:21 am

Oh man, that Mia video really looks like a bad early 90′s music clip.

And no, I couldn’t understand anything comming out of her mouth eighter :)



Stephen December 8, 2006 at 12:16 am

The deterioration of language skills has led to her rise to fame. Even PCD is more skilled than her, and only one of them actually sings, but it also helps that they are actually all hot. Meow.


unknown February 21, 2008 at 9:35 am

how dare you insolt fergie she has been fab every body starts badly when they start somthink on there own so cut her some slack her songs are great maby your just bad listeners have some respect for ppls feelings


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