London Drugs Is Full Of Crazy People

Since I’m at work, I thought it was only appropriate to tell a work story. There is so much that’s out of the ordinary at this ridiculous store that it would be literally impossible to tell you about everything but in particular, it’s the customers that make this place a nut house. In particular, there are three that I can think of off the top of my head that are especially…special.

Pink Purse Man

Pink Purse Man is an Asian man in his thirties (I think) that carries around a pink purse. I mean, hence Pink Purse Man. No, it is not a man purse. It is a fairly regular looking pink purse that would not be out of place on the arm of Scarlett Johannsson but does look a tad odd on a dude. As you can imagine, Pink Purse Man is a bit…feminine. However, this is the 21st century and this, surprisingly, isn’t the strange thing about Pink Purse Man.

Pink Purse Man is easily the dumbest customer to come through our doors. For example, he once asked me how he could backup his movie DVDs. At the time, the easiest product to use we had was DVDXCopy. He, however, wanted to know if he could just drag and drop some of the files from his retail DVDs onto a blank one using Windows Explorer, presumably because he didn’t want to pay the $99.99 price tag for the software. Obviously this wouldn’t work so I told him so.

Normal customers, at this point, will go ahead and pick up the software but Pink Purse Man…well, he’ll try to do it anyways and then try to return he discs that he’s turned into coasters. He also usually talks with a completely vacant expression which leads me to believe he’s actually that stupid. <--- that's Pink Purse Man...but without a pink purse.

Me: Sir, what you described absolutely will not work.

Pink Purse Man: Okay! I'll try it!

Me: Sir, it won't work and you'll end up with discs that you paid for that won't work.

PPM: Okay! I'll try it!

I usually just hide when he comes in now.

YELLING Man

Now, I actually quite like Yelling Man. He’s actually a decent dude although he might be a bit…special, as well. He’s always a pretty nice guy so I usually see no reason not to give him a hand. However, the first time I met Yelling Man, it was a bit different. I was in the back room of my department taking a nap when I heard what I thought was an argument outside. In fact, I thought there was a fight outside. I went outside to give my buddy Tyler a hand, still wondering what the hell was going on. Turns out it was Yelling Man…who apparently can’t really control his voice sometimes.

Me: Dude, what the heck is going on?

Tyler: Oh, it’s okay…don’t worry about it.

Yelling Man: DO YOU HAVE A COPY OF MARCH OF THE PENGUINS!?

If you think I’m loud, Yelling Man is probably at least twice my volume…and he’s actually yelling.

The Prince

Actually, we call this guy by his actual name but I’m not sure I should be telling everyone. This guy is a little strange. He rides around in one of those motorized scooters but I’ve seen him walk just fine, albeit slowly. At first, I couldn’t tell if he was a man or a woman and his voice doesn’t exactly give it away either but his name…well, it’s definetely a man’s name.

He comes in quite often to tell us…well, all kinds of things. Apparently he is the long lost Prince of England who has an estranged evil twin that is trying to kill him so that he can’t accend to the royal throne (no, he doesn’t look like Prince Charles…nor is his name Charles). He is also the head of security in our store (he’s not really) and he works directly with the Vancouver police (he doesn’t). Oh, he’s also a former child movie star.

…actually, I’m not sure about that last part since plenty of child stars get all…weird as they become adults. Anyways, he’s a creepy looking dude that rides around our store all day. He once came in and asked to speak to my manager, to whom he yelled “I’M THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND, A FORMER CHILD ACTOR AND I WORK WITH THE POLICE!”

Yeah, you really don’t want to work retail here. I’m only still here because I work a day a week and hey, it’s like getting paid by the hour to surf and blog!

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