Growing up, I watched my share of ridiculous action movies featuring the heavyweights of the time: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Bruce Willis just to name a few. Of course, right in there was Sylvester Stallone, who I was a big fan of just from watching the Rocky movies on TV. I admit, my favorite is Rocky IV, where Sly and another ’80s, Dolph Lundgren, pummel each other to a bloody pulp.
Arnie, JCVD and others were cool and/or funny (“IT’S NOT A TUMOR!) but I think Stallone was my favorite action hero of that era and mostly because of the Rocky saga. While everyone else was some sort of superhuman killing machine, Rocky was just an extraordinary man, the epitome of heroism and strength of will. I mean, you couldn’t keep that dude down.
I imagine that when I was 12, I wanted the same sort of movie that any other 12-year old boy wanted to see: a movie starring ALL these action heroes where things exploded and bad guys were shot, punched or thrown out of airplanes. Unfortunately. the closest thing we probably ever got to that was Demolition Man which had both Sly and Wesley Snipes.
Those days, however, are now over as we now have a movie starring a collection of old school action stars like Stallone and Lundgren (Schwarzenegger and Willis make cameos) as well as a bunch of more recent stars like Jason Statham, Jet Li and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. The Expendables is the movie everyone roughly my age wanted to see when they were 12 and after seeing it, I feel like it was custom-made for 12-year old me while 27-year old me can only really like it with the aid of a time machine.
Yes, despite the potential awesomeness that all these guys on screen could offer, I didn’t really want to see this movie. However, I almost felt obligated to since it’s the movie I wanted to see as a kid. It’s not that The Expendables isn’t an enjoyable film but set your expectations to low. At least Sly still looks like an action star. He in rather good shape for a guy that’s pushing 65. Schwarzenegger, on the other hand, has really let himself go but I guess that’s what happens when you’re the Governator.
Talking about the plot is completely useless. It’s the same generic plot we’ve seen over and over where a group of mercenaries are sent to some remote island to overthrow a genocidal regime led by some crazy dictator. It’s like they used a cookie-cutter when they wrote this script or they spent all their time coming up with ridiculously stupid names for the movie’s characters like Yin Yang and Lee Christmas that they didn’t have any left over to write an actual plot. In fact, the one moment that seemed half-way genuine and human where Mickey Rourke talks about how he wants his life to mean something was just downright out of place amongst all the one-liners and explosions.
It’s not necessary to mention any of the action in the movie either as if it’s good, then it isn’t noticeable and if it’s bad, then it totally fits with the overall tone of the movie. It’s unfortunate that Jet Li is reduced to mostly comic relief and you don’t get to see him really go to town with the martial arts, though. He spends most of the movie being the subject of height jokes. The guy that I expected to totally be comic relief, Terry Crews, is rather underused in the movie and spends most of his screen time using some absurdly overpowered weapon to blow everything up. Personally, I think Terry Crews is sort of underrated as a funnyman and I usually enjoy everything he’s in.
The action in The Expendables is a bit of a throwback where guns do most of the talking and enemy soldiers have as much of a chance against our heroes as red shirts did in Star Trek. In an age where action is almost synonymous with complicated choreography resulting in almost ballet-like fight sequences, it’s almost nice to see the action of my childhood where guys simply introduced some bullets to a bad guy’s face. I will, however, say that they may have been a bit excessive with it. There’s one scene where Jason Statham stabs a guy in the neck and then proceeds to empty his pistol’s entire magazine into his chest. Either one would’ve probably been sufficient. It’s not really a big deal but our heroes complain about running out of ammunition near the end of the movie…which just leaves you speechless.
If you’re too young to see The Expendables, then you’ll probably love it. Seriously, everyone under the age of 18 should absolutely love this movie. If you’re around my age, then you’ll enjoy it simply for the nostalgia…not because it’s a particularly good movie. If it didn’t starred anyone but this cast, then it would be mediocre at best.
If you check your brain at the door and not think about it too much, The Expendables isn’t bad. If you don’t expect too much, you won’t be disappointed.
Verdict: 6.5 out of 10
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Very True. Every age would love this but more will be loved by teenagers. Good movie to watch.
Really looking like awesome movie. I’m dying to watch it. I love all the Hollywood flicks.
Thanks for sharing with me.
Definitely a movie you’d be ecstatic about if this was release a decade ago.
What? The cast to this movie should encourage any male particularly the teenager to go see this flick. Unfortuantely I have not seen it but I am looking forward to it. Blu-ray perhaps.
I managed to miss catching this at the theater by waiting too long. Still hoping to catch it on DVD but it just won’t be the same. I actually the movie was too hyped at first. Only later on once I heard and read everyone saying it’s a good movie did it sink in that it’s a hit.